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 HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES

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Colleen
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PostSubject: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Thu May 19, 2011 3:25 pm

There were 2 women in heaven they were talking about how they got there...
woman 1: How did you get here then?
woman 2: I froze to death
woman 1: Awww what a shame!
woman 2: What happened to you?
woman 1: I thought my husband was cheating on me so I came home and searched everywhere under the beds, in the closets but couldn't find anyone, I got so stressed out I had a heart attack and died.
woman 2: Well if you had checked in the freezer neither of us would be here!
Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Thu May 19, 2011 10:15 pm

Two old timers, Gus and Al, were sitting on a park bench, when Al said "I wonder if the is baseball in heaven?" "I don't know" Gus answered, "but we should make a promise that the first one that dies, comes back and tells the other if there is or not." Al agreed and oddly enough died the following week. Lonely, Gus went to his bench the next day in the park and sat quietly remembering his old friend. Suddenly, Al appeared before him and said, " I didn't forget our promise Gus and I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there IS baseball in heaven." Gus was so excited and said," That's great! What's the bad news?" Al look at him and said, "You're pitching Saturday!" Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Fri May 20, 2011 4:21 pm

ROFLMAO!






Do you suppose these two feel like DUMB ASSES NOW? Laughing

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Last edited by Colleen on Sat May 21, 2011 3:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Fri May 20, 2011 11:55 pm

Good stuff Col. I hope you don't mind if I don't quit my job just yet. I think that to some people, YOU leaving akaQa was the first sign of "The End of the World". Wink
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Sat May 21, 2011 12:09 am

Only until 6:00 PM tonight right? lol!
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Sat May 21, 2011 12:15 am

HA! You won't be so lucky. Only the good Christians get to go. I don't think dictators will be chosen Wink

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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Sat May 21, 2011 7:57 pm

Hey it's 7:56 and I'm still alive...what a shocker! Did you make it Col?
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Sat May 21, 2011 8:15 pm

Coach wrote:
Hey it's 7:56 and I'm still alive...what a shocker! Did you make it Col?
I made it Coach!! But then again, according to the good book, I'm going to hell anyway so of course I'd still be here Wink Twisted Evil

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Last edited by Site Manager on Fri Mar 01, 2013 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Tue May 24, 2011 1:35 pm

Site Manager wrote:
Coach wrote:
Hey it's 7:56 and I'm still alive...what a shocker! Did you make it Col?
I made it Coach!! But then again, according to the good Christians, I'm going to hell anyway so of course I'd still be here Wink Twisted Evil

WE GOT A REPRIEVE!!!
A California preacher who foretold of the world's end only to see the appointed day pass with no extraordinarily cataclysmic event has revised his apocalyptic prophecy, saying he was off by five months and the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Tue May 24, 2011 5:34 pm

Laughing

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PostSubject: Re: HUMOR-FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS/JOKES   Wed Nov 02, 2011 7:22 am

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
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